Hypocrites and Parasites

I think I just reached my tipping point. Ready for something better than this...or at least different. There is only so much meddling, back-stabbing, vindictive, and plain nasty antics I can stand. This is definitely not what I signed up for and not what I need in my life at this moment...or any moment for that matter. I know I'm still young and gaining experience as each day passes, but some of the behavior I have witnessed here is stomach-churning. I know every place is different and has its own set of politics and problems, but I'm ready to move on to new people and new issues. While there are certainly people here who are kind, thoughtful, and well-intentioned, they are too far and few between to justify staying longer than necessary.


"Hypocrites and parasites will come up and take a bite" Bob Marley, "Who the Cap Fit"

Je suis désolée

I'm trying too hard. Too hard to make this sound poetic. Too hard to make the words leap off the screen and inspire someone to do something. Anything. What is it about writing that makes me feel as though I have some awesome responsibility to motivate others? It's rather egotistical the more I think about it. Writing as if my words ilicit that much power. At the same time it's a burden. Because I feel such pressure, I write so infrequently. And yet, it is such a great feeling of release. Pure escapism. There are days when I dream of being able to write full-time, make a living off of it, and feel some greater purpose for this skill. And then there are days when I think I might explode into a full-blown anxiety attack if I had to write to sustain a living.

I keep promising myself that I will become more disciplined about writing. Force myself to sit down each day and write about something...in a different style...from various points of view. But God knows I have never been that disciplined about anything. Ever. So for now I guess I'll continue to sporadically document my thoughts. Until something significant happens to compel me to be more dedicated. More focused. More passionate.